He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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