You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
