Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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