Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
