I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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