Sry I called you an 8
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
