oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
