Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
