i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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