But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
