Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize