So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
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Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
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In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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