i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
