guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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