I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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