i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
