Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
