You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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