I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
