I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
