carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
