If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
