bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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