I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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