This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
