She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
