I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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