is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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