Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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