He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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