something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize