Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
