I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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