I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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