2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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