even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize