Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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