Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
