So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
