you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think I won the penis lottery.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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