i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
