at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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