Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Brb crying the tears of my youth
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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