you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
