scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
