a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
