ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
