i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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