since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
