I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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