i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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