Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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