You can't special order awesome
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
