My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
