puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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