We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
