Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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