So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
