low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
