someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Shame - the story of my life.
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