i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
