Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
