If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
