she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize