You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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