I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
