Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
