C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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