I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
