ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
