How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
