NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
