she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
